This week from The Forklift: Inside Out

My old therapist used to say that we were all like balloons – filled with feelings, fears, insecurities, hopes, expectations, old wounds and new dreams.

And every day brings needles.

Someone says something that hurts us. A coworker disappoints us. We get criticized, rejected or misunderstood. Plans fall apart. If we aren’t careful, we give the outside world the power to pop our balloon.

The secret to emotional sobreity is simply learning to live from the inside out.

That doesn’t mean we stop feeling things. Spiritual strength isn’t the absence of emotion, it’s just the ability to experience an emotion without immediately becoming it.

Sally doesn’t make you angry. Sally does something. You then feel anger. And somewhere in between those two things is a tiny space where you get to decide what happens next. The more self-aware we become, the bigger that space gets.

In baseball, hitters describe being “in the zone” as if the game slows down. Somehow they can see the seams on the ball. They recognize the spin. They aren’t simply reacting anymore. They’re seeing the pitch.

I think life works the same way. When we’re spiritually grounded and self-aware, life slows down just enough for us to see the spin.

That’s anger. That’s fear. That’s my ego. That’s an old wound talking. We begin to see the spin and we don’t have to swing at every pitch!

And perhaps the most important realization is this: sometimes we’re the needle!

We rarely know the whole story behind someone else’s behavior, but once we begin understanding the wounds behind our own reactions, we become more capable of seeing the wounds behind theirs.

The goal isn’t to build a balloon nobody can pop. It’s to become grounded enough that we stop handing every passing needle control over our inner world. Feel everything. But remember that feelings don’t have to dictate actions.

See the spin. Choose your swing. Live from the inside out.

mm