Resentments

Have you ever noticed that we use two scales when it comes to judgement? We tend to judge others by their actions, but judge ourselves by our intentions?

When we see what someone did, we rarely stop long enough to wonder why they did it? Yet in contrast… we will give ourselves grace for our “poor actions” because we know our struggles, our stresses, our fears, and our pains. Unfortunately when it comes to judging others, we so often just skip straight to the verdict. We don’t allow ourselves to see the whole picture, we let our emotions overtake our heart, which then overtakes our vision.

The truth is, we never fully know what someone else is carrying…but it sure is helpful when we’ve had to carry our own. It’s our own experiences and mistakes that allow us to see the same in others.

It’s too easy to point out the splinter in someone else’s eye while completely missing the log in our own. Human nature and the ego pulls us towards criticism before reflection. But wisdom works in the opposite way. It begings with reflection. The more spiritually mature and self aware we become, the more we are able to see our own imperfections in others…and think before we react or judge. We begin to see life through a more advanced lens, one that begins with grace.

Life is hard and it moves fast. I find it helpful to remind myself that we are all just trying to do our best to move towards happiness and freedom…but often times that “want” is misguided by our own learned reactions and innate human emotions. The understanding of others begins with the understanding of self…and man, I am grateful for all my mistakes, for there have been many. And it’s those mistakes that allow me to see the pain and hurt behind other’s actions…and give grace.

I learned this from experience (just I am sure many of you have as well) – that all people are fighting battles we cannot see; resentments, bitterness, and constant judgment of others will just slowly rot us from the inside out. Unresolved resentments will harden our hearts towards others and make us blind to our own faults. They can kill us.

But when we learn to view people through a wider lens — one that includes grace, context, and humility — something really important changes. We don’t just become more forgiving towards others, we become more forgiving toward ourselves.

MM